Growing in His Grace

This morning I was led back to Him. I'm learning to return back to Him and to run towards Him ferociously. I've learnt that I can barely do a day without Him and while dependence on someone is not encouraged, dependence on Him is not a weakness but something that gives you strength, rather than taking parts of you and then breaking them because people fail He keeps every part of You and in Him there's no better place to be.

Sometimes we can fool ourselves into thinking we can do life solely on our own but our hearts were made to love, to love people and it longs for community which means interaction which means getting to know people, loving their imperfections and being a reflection of what and who Jesus is all about.

I want to share a little bit of what's been on my heart lately and I love being candid with what I'm going through and although I am a little wary online and how different things can be interpreted this whole idea of being real with people, being honest with people is something I've really struggled with.

I don't know whether it's British culture (granted, that's a bit of an overgeneralisation) to not talk about your problems, your struggles or whether it's a pride thing. You see I've been really struggling with the idea of not being perfect. I used to view it in a way that I knew in my mind was unattainable but in my heart I longed so deperately after it. My longing to be spotless and without blemish in the Lord's eyes, there's no bad thing about it, if anything that's a great motivation to be ruthless with sin. However when my longing to be spotless and without blemish in man's eyes overrode that, that's when I realised that a God thing had become a bad thing.

I used to want people to get at least the impression that I didn't deal with anything when in reality there have been days where I've felt so ashamed in His presence that I couldn't even bring myself to come before Him with what I'd done. Now, cue the minds of you, the wonderful person reading this, to think "what are the sins that she goes through?" hopefully in not a bid to judge me, though our flesh may sometimes want to, but in a bid to understand my way of thinking and in a hope that maybe you can relate to my struggles and my failings because we're all going through something no matter how big or how small, we are always going through something, we will always struggle with something this side of heaven. Does this mean that we just give up? No, because He died for so much more than us giving up, if anything His death and resurrection should not be undermined by what we feel, what we want to do and how we ourselves perceive our own sin. 

Giving up is easy but only temporarily, to follow Jesus and to trust in Him to change you, to refine you on your walk with Him despite being wrecked by sin, when you come to a true understanding of just how important He is and should be in your life and how much of an incredible impact He has had on your life is even more of an incentive to give Him glory despite our failings. He is there in the process, He is there in your weakness, He is there when your shame feels greater than His presence, He is there when you think you've reached the end of yourself and when you don't feel like there's enough grace for Him to reach out to you. He is there and He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is constant and unchanging. There has never been a moment in your God-breathed life that He has loved you less,  He has always loved you with an everlasting love, a steadfast love an incredible incomprehensible love that knows no bounds.

We can choose to step into His love or we can choose to stay drenched in shame, guilt and overcome by our sin.

It's a concept that can be really hard to accept, it can be a constant process of asking Him to remind us of His mercy and grace and how He died so that we may be free. To live for Him, to serve Him and to love Him with every fibre of our being. We are constantly growing in grace, growing in His love, growing in compassion what will your decision be?

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Knowing Your Worth

I typed out the title of this blog post wordering whether or not I remembered my own worth. 

Sometimes we find our worth in things, vanity, relationships, friendships, likes on social media, our hobbies or our interests. For me I've tried to find my worth in the way I've looked, the way I've acted, the way I've interacted with people, I've based it in comparison to other people and I've tried time and time again to fix myself up in order to disguise the pain of feeling unworthy and guilty and shameful but time and time again I am led back to one thing that holds me altogether even when I feel like I'm falling apart, that one thing is Jesus.

Jesus who calls me worthy, Jesus who died hanging on the cross and still called me worthy, Jesus who looks straight into my soul, my spirit and all that I am drenched in sin and calls me worthy. 

I'm writing this post as a reminder to not only you, you beautiful soul but also to myself. You see my worth's taken a recent kick in my side and I've questioned every single part of my body, examined every part of my personality, done the whole, what have they got that I don't have and what have I got that they don't have. I've looked for affirmation laced in other peoples words and measured up my worth against them but you see the cycle keeps on going. There are on days and off days where I have to keep reminding myself of my worth and everything that Jesus calls me to be. It can be a constant monthly, weekly, daily, hourly reminder. Sometimes I can be so consumed in my own thoughts that I think myself sick, to the point of tears, to the further point of ugly crying into the sky (or a pillow) and pleading, begging the Lord to help me, mould me and change my unhealthy way of thinking. 

Normally I would write a conclusion to my blog posts, to recentre my own thoughts as I write them and gather them after having scrambled them all onto a page but today I just want to leave it at this: knowing my worth is a process, sometimes we can know it in our head and sometimes it doesn't reach our hearts. Head to heart knowledge is important and I'm in that process now. That process of being taught and disciplined by the Lord who knows exactly what is best for me. So after crying my eyes out to Alex G's song Everything and Alessia Cara's song Scars To Your Beautiful - I didn't have any words to say to the Lord, all I wanted to do was cry and that's all I had in me in that moment and maybe just maybe my tears, in that exact moment, spoke so much more louder than my words could ever say.

But I don't feel like I should end this blog post that way, a conclusion can be even more important than how I start this so let me try again. 

Your worth is not dependant on what a boy says to you, your worth is not dependant on what you see in the mirror, what you eat, what you wear, how you are, whether you have it all together or are crumbling and breaking inside - despite what you're feeling your worth is dependant on an eternal, most high King, a King fiercely and passionately in pursuit of your love and your attention. He sings your beauty over Him and our beauty is found solely in Him. He remains the same yesterday, today and forever, the only thing unchanging and knowing your worth in this way, well, it changes everything. 


“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ... " - Matthew 6:25-34

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:10

Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. - Isaiah 43:4

TRAVEL: A few date Ideas for Summer!

Summer is officially here and although if you had told me that I would be in a relationship the summer after second year I would've been like "yeah, right". But here I am, writing a summer date ideas post. I apologise for my absence! If you're stuck for ideas of what to do, regardless of your relationship status, grab your girlfriends/boyriends and get to reading these activities that you can do! 

Sky Garden 

I had always heard of Sky Garden but seeing as I didn't really frequent London other activities seemed to surpass it. Finding the walkie talkie building was easy enough, we simply saw it and followed streets to get to it. We determined our proximity to it by glancing up into the sky to see if we could still see it. When we arrived we got confused about how to get in, completely ignoring the long line of people waiting to get in. This sky garden must be popular then? We went at around 1:15 and although the line looked long we were in the lift in no time. When I saw the lift number go up to floor 35 I was freaking out. So fast as well, my ears were popping all about the place! 

Upon walking out onto the sky garden you are captivated by the view. You see London does a pretty good job of making you feel really small but from up there, when your eyes adjust to the brightness London itself seems small. It's breathtaking looking upon such a renowned city laced with incredible history and having it seem so small.

Next stop, food. I'm telling you guys, everything is so Pinterest, it's great. But, as you may figure, expensive. I bought a chocolate doughnut and Tariq bought a chocolate Brownie. And oh my goodness, they were both so mouth-wateringly delicious, I salivated to the point of embarassment. When we finished up every last crumb of those beautiful baked goods we went outside to really grasp the windswept look and have a bit of a vertigo moment as we stared down the vastness of the building we were on. 

Inside you are able to view various plants and trees and wonderful green things that go up each side of the venue. You are able to walk up the stairs to see London from all sides. At the top of the stairs we found a bench to sit on opposite the beautiful cityscape and we played eye-spy like adults. 

So, you only get an hour but honestly an hour is enough, although it was easy to lose track of time with him, you're also concious that you might be breaking Sky Garden's law of the land by outstaying your welcome. So after admiring the views and eating pastries we left and explored London in search of affordable food. 

Picnic in a Park

I understand that a picnic in a park can be done almost everywhere within England. But there was something about lying down in this particular park surrounded by streets and places which he called home, talking about life and basically everything while watching the sky. Something that I wasn't used to in this particular sky was vast amount of planes that passed by all at once. At most I saw about five at one time. Which was fascinating to me because where I live, I see at most one at a time and from a very long distance away. So grab a picnic blanket, some sandwiches, crisps, a frisbee, uno and brace yourself for conversation and plane watching. 

 Go to the theatre

I have been so so very blessed this year to be introduced to the amazing world of musical theatre. After watching Wicked I wanted to see so many more. So while I was down in London this time we were able to see Guys and Dolls and it was incredible. I'm still captivated by the sheer determination that they have to go through to do shows back to back and still sing like it was the last show they'd ever do. I was hooked on the plotline, the songs, the love story throughout it all. I even got annoyed at the fact we had an interval!

One of my favourite things to look at when I go to the theatre is admire the band in the pit. The conductor of this particular band also played the keyboard..while conducting. A professional to say the least, and I was in awe. Like I always am with musical talent like that. So despite the theatre costing a lot of money, what you're paying for is so worth it. Help support them and their craft!

The O2 Arena Greenwich

I have been here once before for Hillsong London's 10th Anniversary which was a while ago and I'm pretty sure they've done it up a lot since I was last here. We visited their cinema and watched the live action Jungle Book movie. We also noticed there was an offer on the back of our ticket for a burger place called Byron - Proper Hamburgers. Originally we planned to go to Gourmet Burger Kitchen but it was still so so yummy. Upon leaving Byron's we looked for other things to do, we noticed they had bowling but bowling as a show, a rock show. Which was awesome. However we decided to just head home. The surrounding areas of the O2 Arena are also wonderful to explore so I would suggest just roaming about the place and people-watching. 

Explore

I could never tire of exploring an area, His beauty can be seen in everything and sometimes it requires stepping out and searching for it. Plus walking grants a wonderful opportunity to talk and admire the God's creation together. 

The Beach

If you live near the beach this is perfect for a date idea because you can dip your toes in the sea, try and push each other into the sea, have sandcastle/fortress competitions, build sandcastles together and skim stones. All of these are exactly what we did, we've been to the beach everytime time he's come down to mine and we always end up doing just that. 

Whatever you end up doing with your boyfriend/girlfriend it's so important to spend that time cherishing one another, having conversations that are happy and that can also be tough. It's a time to get to know each other and see each other in different situations. Enjoy the blessing that a relationship can bring so that you create wonderful memories. Also thank the Lord that you are able to have this, to experience this and give everything to Him. When He is at the core of your being that is when you know that regardless, whatever happens between you and your relationships, life, its hardships you can lie firm in the fact that He holds you and calls you His love, first and foremost. 

LET'S TALK: Without your face paint

About a week ago I left my house without face make-up.

For some this step may not seem the biggest greatest grandest revelation of all time but for me, it was a step into defeating a stronghold that I didn't even recognise I had in my life.

From as far back as I can remember I was able, I wore make-up. For Christmas I would get plastic make-up sets and really cheap eyeshadows. I don't particularly recall the influence of my obsession for make-up but I was enthralled by the transformation. Part of me, although hesitantly, wants to say that it was the influence of television that did it for I watched a lot of american television shows. The era when Mary-kate and Ashley and the Disney Channel graced our television screens.

I was fascinated by its ability to make me feel and look like a different person. 

However, there were times where I would view it as accentuating what God gave me and ultimately I thought that I just thoroughly enjoyed putting it on, like a painter placing brushes on the edge of a masterpiece. 

Of course all of this would end up with me having to spend money on products that I felt I needed. I didn't discover foundation/face makeup until secondary school so around 15/16 I was amazed at the fact that this liquid was able to hide that huge spot that invaded half of my head. 

I was a newbie to this side of the make-up world and made mistake after mistake and still am learning today. Finding the perfect shade is hard am I right ladies?! So by this time, I had really gotten into Youtube, I started a channel with one of my best friends Leyla. It was scary and exciting at the same time because we were putting ourselves out there but it also made me feel really conscious about how I looked. 

My obsession with Youtube was ever growing, 

I enjoyed watching drugstore hauls and make-up tutorial after make-up tutorial. I started working around 17 and the new found money in my pocket enabled me to buy whatever I wanted, so I did.

I can't even tell you how much money I spent on make-up, I'd probably return it all now but let's just say I enjoyed it so much, more than clothes shopping because in my head it was cheaper, but of course, these things add up. 

So fast forward to college years, 16 to 18 years old, I began to become dependent on make-up, it wasn't something I essentially hid behind, I felt comfortable in my skin and didn't lather it on like moisturiesr after a shower but enjoyed the process and soon after, I was unable to leave the house without it. The period between 14 years old through to around 19 were pivotal moments in life for me, I got into relationships, juggled my weight and dealt with body image issues. 

Don't get me wrong I still have those days where I'm like "bleurgh" but nowadays it's different and normally comes in the form of comparison, which is an unhealthy mindset to be in, and is something that I give to the Lord constantly. But those five years really was a time where the Lord was moulding me.I went from hurt to healing and freedom. It was a time when deliverance and prayer was needed and essential, I didn't know it then but the Lord had a purpose to it all.

So after my gap year I came to university. I was single and I was focused on making tight friendships, if I meet a guy that's great but I was not ready at all. the Lord was still dealing with things from my past and I was willing to go through it because I knew freedom was on the other side. Going through my first year I don't ever think I left halls without make-up, not one day at all. I was almost really self-conscious to be seen not wearing make-up in front of the close friends I made. Make-up gave me confidence. That and the combination of my new found contacts that I enjoyed wearing because I despised wearing glasses, my confidence would plummet when I wore them so I just wouldn't. 

So here I was, going through first year of university with a new found confidence and creating friendships, getting planted into a church, getting involved with the Christian Union, doing a degree in what I love to do most. The people in my life that I have managed to surround myself with have always been very complimentary. For ages I loved it, I almost thrived on it, but to an unhealthy point where if I didn't receive a compliment from someone and I had worked hard on looking good, I would get seriously upset, my mind would spiral and I would convince myself that I didn't try hard enough and I would try harder next time. As you can probably tell, this kind of mindset was not only unhealthy to be in but it was a very expensive thing to uphold and in my first year I racked up the debt, my overdraft became a regular and then a permanent friend of mine but I just kept going. Have you ever watched Confessions of a Shopaholic? Yeah, not as much, but very close.  

So this brings me to my second year of university. again that dependence on make-up still strong but in the second term, something shifted. My best friend Viki hit a point of breakthrough, she had already hit it in the summer when we went to a camp called Momentum, she realised it was an idol and didn't wear it. I was convicted because I couldn't not put makeup on especially with the fact that there were Christian guys around. 

In second term of university she saw her dependence and the time that it took to put make-up on as something she didn't want to deal with anymore. So she began to not wear it. For her it was daunting at first and she was convinced that everyone was looking at her but they weren't. This second term, although it took me a while to jump on the band wagon I began to see the freedom that she got from it. So one day I did it. I wore no foundation/concealer/bronzer/blush and I wore my glasses as well to a lecture and CU. I was petrified. Petrified of what everyone would think of me. I was self conscious and couldn't stop looking at all of my spots in my phones camera. It made me realise so many things about myself that I hadn't dealt with. Although it took years until I could actually walk out of the house without make-up it brought liberty and I had to constantly fight back the thoughts of my skin burning holes into peoples eyes. Viki and Maddie my best friends and sisters at university have been encouraging, inspiring and motivating not only I, but eachother and others to embrace our God given beauty. They have been nothing but supportive, their words have impacted my life and enabled me to view myself differently. Although I feel like I still have a long way to go, I'm not alone and I have full faith that the Lord is going to bring me through it.

If you related to anything that I wrote in this post, comment, I'd love to chat with you. I would also like to encourage you with this a facebook post that Viki wrote attached with a make-up less photo of us:

This morning as I sat down to put my make up on, I realised how uncomfortable I would be leaving the house without it, and how much it had become an idol in my life. In a world where outer beauty is appreciated more than inner beauty, I believe it is so important to realise where your identity really comes from. So instead of painting on layers of make up, I listened to this incredible song which made me realise that even though I may not look perfect, and don’t have the airbrushed look that we see everyday on instagram, God still sees me as beautiful and that’s all the confirmation of self worth that I need. I stand with the belief that all of us are made in His image and our self-worth comes completely from him, and with this belief comes bravery and courage, so here are me and two of my beautiful best friends, bare faced, imperfect and still courageous daughters of God!

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

2015: Year Reflection

If I was to describe 2015 in one word, that word would simply be: Growth. 

It was the year that I was challenged in different aspects of my life that I would have previously shyed away from. It was in accepting opportunities that enabled me to step out of my comfort zone that allowed me to really free-fall into what God had in store for me. It was a year of trusting that He would make a way when I almost thought it impossible.

The first few months of 2015 involved an amazing trip to the Isle of Wight with my church, a weekend of revival in the hearts of many. I got through exams and deadlines and enjoyed a snippet of summer with my university friends.

During the summer I was able to go on holiday with one of my long-time best friends Leyla, to Spain. It was my first time on a plane which was both scary and enjoyable. A few weeks later I was able to go to the Philippines to meet my mother's side of the family, I was able to stay there for a month, travelling around the Philippines and enjoying their beautiful culture. Towards the end of summer I was able to go to Momentum with my home church at University, it was an incredible week. I became Course Rep at my university for Journalism with English Literature. I had my first article published in the Galleon, our university's student newspaper. I sung on the Christian Union worship team that pushed me right out of my comfort zone but thankfully into His arms. We were able to hold a wonderful CU Carol Concert that enabled me to trust in Him even more. I was asked to be a Small Group leader at our Church, something that involved stepping up in and listening to what the Lord had to say. I managed to get into the first violin section in my University Orchestra, it serves as a reminder to play out loud.

I was able to reunite with my Dad's side of the family which proved emotional at times. I was able to appreciate my immediate family's presence more so than the last year. Every day He is softening my heart and I am so appreciative of who He is moulding me into. 

There are so many people in my life that I have to thank as this year's chapter closes, so many people I hold dear to my heart and only wish to be a better best friend, friend, daughter, cousin, neice, family friend to them all. All of whom I could not have done this year without. So here's to those that I have known, that I have just met and that I am to meet in the future.

Every year the Lord surprises me in ways that I would never have imagined. He brought me to places that had me awe-struck, places that moved me, places that I never would have dreamed I would be standing in. He brought me to the end of myself where I found the beginning of Him. The times where I was searching so desperately for something to satisfy the craving in my soul, the only craving that could be satisfied by the one who made it. 

There have been seasons of my life this year that have been barren and dry, hopeless and broken. A time of finding, searching for excuses - anything, for justification, validation, approval or some kind of applause. I searched and searched and they returned to me void. They were empty, worthless things that weren't good for my soul. I had no choice but to turn to Him, despite knowing all along that He was more than enough, I was stubborn and selfish and wanted to find it out for myself. How much time I wasted, yet He doesn't see it like that. It was in those seasons that I was able to find Him, time and time again despite reaching the end of myself. I was in a process of learning, who He was, who I am and who He has called me to be.

I am learning day by day, more and more about myself and who God created me to be. I am learning in the dark, barren, times of weakness, caked in sin times that He is all I need. I am learning to come to a place of repentence continuously, trusting in the Lord and the freedom He offers. I am learning to equip myself with His word, eager to learn more about what it truly means to come to Him with everything I have. Learning time and time again obedience and trust in His mercy, grace and lovingkindness. What an incredible, romantic, wonderful God I serve.

As I look back on the year I thank Jesus for dying for me on the cross, for taking on my sin despite it being mine to bear. I'm praying that this new year will be a time for more trust, obedience, love and expectancy in Him. Trusting Him in the process, because He's worth it. 

Even though I may:

• fear, He is there.
• be impatient, He has a plan.
• doubt, He knows.
• fall, He stands.
• feel ashamed, there is no shame in His eyes.
• not understand, His wisdom and knowledge surpasses it all.
• despise, He loves.

So this year my New Year's resolutions are as follows:

• to let His love determine my actions, words, steps, life.
• to not doubt myself
• to love courageously
• to tread boldly
• to speak even when my voice shakes
• to fall continuously in love with Him.
• to focus
• to trust in His process.

Tis the reason

"For unto us a Child is born,

Unto us a Son is given;

And the government will be upon His shoulder. 

And His name will be called

Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of His government and peace 

There will be no end,

Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,

To order it and establish it with judgment and justice

From that time forward, even forever. 

The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this." Isaiah 9:6-7 (NKJV)

As we edge closer and closer to Christmas time we get busy, we have deadlines for uni, we're packing, eating as many roasts as we can consume, making plans to travel back home, figuring times out to see family and friends, working, getting into the Christmas spirit - it's easy to forget the true reason why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.

This verse has resonated within my heart for a while now and I love how it just exuberates the many incredible names and attributes that Jesus entails. He grants hope, peace, love and justice and assurance for everything that our future holds which makes my heart eternally thankful and grateful that He chose to come down to earth and was born in such a humble way, lived in such a humble way and died in such a brutal way only to rise up again for you and I.

It leaves me speechless and honoured to serve a God that is so intentional in His relationship with us, excludes no one and is the very true meaning of love itself.

TRAVEL: FIRST(s) IMPRESSIONS - the Philippines!

I did it. It finally happened and it has been the best month of my life so far. This whole summer has been a bunch of "first" experiences that have been both thrilling and exhiliarating. Since this summer started I have managed to go from flying on zero planes to flying on eight planes and it's safe to say that I have fallen in love with flying. Travelling itself, I have fallen in love with especially when I am discovering a whole new country with my incredible family by my side.

My first long haul flight was great and ran smoothly however if they didn't have movies to watch on the mini tv's I have no idea what would I do with my life for 11 hours. I did download a few books onto my Kindle Fire from my reading list however my head gets funny when I read while on any mode of transport.
Another thing I discovered was that I have a weird phobia of peeing on a plane. Maybe it's me wondering were it goes or the fact that when you walk down the aisle every knows you're just about to do your business or what, I just can't physically do it. There's something so uncomfortable that I find with the whole process. But bladder issues aside I love flying. I love looking at the country below us imagining what people are doing in their little houses just living life and here I am above them, flying away from them to another distant land. Flying through clouds, amongst storms, above places I have yet to discover.

My first time meeting my family involved many hugs and much laughter exchanged between us. It was mixed with thankfulness, rememberance, gratefulness and an overwhelming sense of love and I wouldn't have exchanged it for anything. Over the month that we were there for that love grew even more and I felt so accepted, loved and cherished.

My first time paragliding, helmet diving, driving a buggy, going on a cable car, snorkelling, swimming in a clear ocean at Boracay. Breathtaking, just breathtaking and worth every second. If you have the money to do so - do it, leave your fear and your minds worst thoughts and do it. For me, I wasn't a strong swimmer at all but I chose to do it because when was I ever going to get this opportunity again? It was a gateway to the most amazing views that I would ever lay my eyes upon and I would never change any of it for the world.

My first time people watching in the Philippines. I could just drive around Manila for the rest of my life. The people, the streets, they come alive with an abundance of different characters, different lives and a mingling of multiple generations. You won't ever get bored.

My first time on filipino transport. Tricycles are my favourite mode of transport in the Philippines, it offers a new kind of experience to viewing the country. From the ground you get a different perspective, I had the view of the cats and dogs that would roam the streets. Plus it is a very cheap way to get to places. We didn't go on many jeepneys because we had cars and drivers to get us around places, we did however use one for Zoobic Safari to feed tigers which was amazing.

My first time trying filipino street food. TURON IS LYF. It is basically a banana fritter and it was a magical experience. My tastebuds were thankful. Banana-cue is a wonderful invention, over there anything on a stick that was barbecued was amazing.

My first time taking Videoke/Karaoke seriously. Over there karaoke isn't necessarily an activity that you do when you're drunk at the pub on a Friday night. It's something you do when you hang out with your friends and family and you can choose whether or not to do it for fun or take it seriously. The majority go for the latter and I'm totally okay with that.
My family have amazing voices within them but the beauty of it is is the fact that it doesn't even occur to them, they sing because they love it. They are amazing because they were blessed and have passion for it and there's something about that raw and natural product of just singing because you want to have fun that I was in awe of.

My first time being taught tagalog by my cousins, Jenny, Allysa and tita Ning. I was so grateful that they took time to speak english to me. They didn't have to although it was hard for us to communicate but they did it.. They did it despite it not being their first language. When they speak it they refer to the pain of speaking another language as making their "nose bleed" and I thought it was time for them to teach me tagalog. My cousins are brilliant teachers of the language, despite being 13 and 18 and I am forever grateful for those few lessons because it enabled me to discern a few of the words that everyone spoke.

So as you see listed here are my many firsts during my trip to the Philippines. My first impressions involved all ranges of emotion at different times. Sometimes I would be rendered speechless other times I would be shocked, amazed and even fearful at times. The Philippines brought out another side to myself, it helped on my journey of finding myself and changed my hopes for the future. After seeing my family it made me rethink my life, the problems that I thought that I had compared to them and how much of a big deal the majority of what I worry about isn't anymore. It changed my perspective on many things and I can proudly say that it indeed is "MORE FUN IN THE PHILIPPINES".

RANDOM: Exploring the other side of the garden.

There is something so refreshing that washes over you when you come across breath-taking views just outside of your back garden. I have the privilege of being surrounded by green fields and trees that go on for miles and I honestly don't set foot in them as often as I should. So when I do, despite growing up in these fields I still stand in awe of nature.

Nowadays I find myself standing fascinated at God's creativity. As if living in the city for the past couple of months has just made me even more appreciative of untouched land. Hand made by the ruler of all.

I took my dog Bailey for a walk around the perimeter of a couple of the fields surrounded our home, it took us an hour and she feels so at home in the wild, amongst nature like they were long lost friends. She feels more free when she's not confined to her space on the couch back at home. She sniffs the air and looks longingly into the distance letting birds catch her eye with their dashing and darting about the sky and swooping down below.

Before I set off walking I strike up a conversation with the Lord. Walks like these must get lonely with a beloved animal of yours that can't talk back to you. So instead of talking to myself I talk to Him. Over and over again He just continues to show off His beauty and glory in the things that really set my heart racing, which is a beautiful field, an incredible sunset or the sun rising at the crack of dawn. Nature. God's original plan for His world, hardly touched by man except to walk through and grow crops from.

It's moments like these that make me really grateful for where I live and reminds me of the beauty waiting on the other side of my door. I want to leave the house because I want to not because I have to. I want to appreciate the beauty that nature brings because I want to not because it'll be a cool Instagram photo. I want to love wherever I end up with all I have, knowing that the Lord placed me there to search for beauty even in places that nature is not found in. There's beauty in concrete jungles too.

What it's like: 25 things about Being in an Orchestra.

There's nothing like it. There's excitement, adrenaline, hope, magical moments, connections you make with the audience as one. Then there's hours of rehearsals, frustrating musical phrases you just can't get right and technical excercises you wish you were better at. To say I have loved every part of being in an orchestra would be a lie. The bits when you are asked to play on your own, as a section or desk by desk are enough to stress you out and cause your hairs to turn grey. However, as soon as you walk onto the stage and sit down with wonderful and talented friends you do become as one. One body conveying a musical message that graces the ears of the audience and then all of the rehearsing suddenly becomes completely worth it. I have met the most musical, intelligent and kind people through participating in Orchestras and when you have being in an orchestra in common with someone you can relate to so many of the same things. Here's 25 things you'll be able to relate to with someone else who has played in an orchestra.


1) Practice is optional and you can sometimes get away with not practicing at all, it just depends on your technique and how well you can sight-read. 

2) You either have extreme hatred or love for the conductor.

3) You've both experienced hard pieces of music to play as an orchestra.

4) Your inability to count makes you rethink why you ever picked up an instrument in the first place.

5) The pain you both feel when you accidentally play in a rest.

6) Being part of a section that is either way too quiet or that just can't play at all.

7) Being part of the reason why you're in one of those sections.

8) Appreciation for classical music and other musicians technique.

9) Hidden rivalry that you've had with at least 2 or more other people in your section.

10) Utmost respect for the leader/front desk of the violins.

11) Forgetting key signatures.

12) Forgetting key changes.

13) Forgetting simple rhythms.

14) Forgetting a pencil.

15) Forgetting the music. 

16) Forgetting the music on the day of the concert.

17) Forgetting and never knowing the concert dates until a few days before it happens.

18) Not bringing enough money for snacks during intervals and those awkward in-between breaks between rehearsal and show-time.

19) Forgetting your instrument.

20) Not being bothered to carry it everywhere.

21) Being very concious of your bow going in the opposite direction of everyone else and not being able to change it fast enough.

22) Getting distracted by the ceiling of a venue and missing your cue.

23) The laughter music (and other people's mistakes) often brings to the orchestra.

24) Getting told you all did it perfectly by someone, ANYONE makes it completely worthwhile.

25) The happiness you feel when you all stand up with eachother at the end of the show and take a bow. And another bow. Sit down. Possibly stand up again. Bow. Awkwardly clap with your instrument in your hands. Sit down. Suffer in awkward 30 second silence and then begin to pack up.

There must be more but that's all my little brain can muster up right now. Comment below if you're in an orchestra, I would love to know whether you agree with me!

God bless,
All my love,

Rosalind xoxo

BLOGMAS #2: THAT'S CHRISTMAS TO ME PENTATONIX ALBUM!

Hey guys, 

Welcome to Day 2 of BLOGMAS, today I wanted to share a wonderful and talented Christmas album that I have been listening to non-stop since mid November and it's by a few masters in acapella music-making called Pentatonix. They have been around for quite a while and their youtube has gained quite a following since they have formed and I believe they were on an acapella tv show once. Anyway, they have come out with what I believe is their second Christmas album called That's Christmas to Me and it features an array of beloved Christmas carols and songs that we have all grown up with over the years featuring nothing but their beautiful voices. 

If you didn't already know, Pentatonix is made up of 5 people Scott Hoying, Mitch Grassi, Kirsten Maldonado, Kevin Olusola and Avi Kaplan. At first Scott, Mitch and Kirsten began a trio at Martin High School in Arlington, Texas. They entered a competition that a local radio station was holding and performed "Telephone" on it. Despite not winning the competition their performance was able to receive recognition from their peers and from then on they decided to start arranging songs. Fast forward to the competition Sing Off which is where they recruited Kevin and Avi to the group and thus the wickedly talented group Pentatonix was born! 

You can purchase the album for just £4.99 on iTunes or 0.99p if you want to buy your favourites but in all seriousness every single song on this album has so much craft and work put into it. £4.99 is definitely not enough.

1. Hark the Herald Angels Sing

This traditional Christmas Carol remake stays true to the classic, it simply features their voices singing in harmony with one another in a very mellow, legato pace. The thickness of the song is made by the layers of their voices on top of eachother and without any beat boxing involved it captures the simplicity of just singing, and singing fantasticly may I add.

2. White Winter Hymnal

I must look up the lyrics to this song as I have a feeling that they are way more melancholy then it lets on. This song features a lot of tapping, clapping and snapping of different parts of the body, all of them with their hands. Their voices again, layer onto one another to create a beautiful crescendo of voices. The tapping, clappinng and snapping make this song  a possible descendant of the Cup Song. Check out the Youtube video below to see how it's done:

 

3. Sleigh Ride (one of my favourites)

This song is one of my favourites of all time everything about it just screams Christmas, bells are being rung and everything about this song just oozes happiness and candy canes. Kristie takes the lead in this song and executes it beautifully.

4. Winter Wonderland / Don't Worry Be Happy (another one of my favourites)

This song is another one of my favourites simply because Pentatonix did what they do so wonderfully, a mash-up. Who knew Winter Wonderland and Bob Marley's Don't Worry Be Happy would ever go together? Well this is what they gave birth to and that song baby is a wonderfully array of reggae beats and beautiful tones. Tori Kelly kills it in this song, I love the thickness and purity that her voice holds!

Check out their video here featuring Tori Kelly:

5. That's Christmas To Me

This song again portrays the simplicity of a song using the power of their voices, with this they are able to convey an emotion that doesn't come about by just shout-singing, the beauty is measured in the softness and calmness of the song which creates such a relaxing atmosphere. 

Check out their music video for this song here, it features an array of home videos from their childhood that are so cute:

6. Mary, Did you Know?

This song is so powerful, God is so present within this song that reveals the true meaning of Christmas which I think is such a beautiful message to convey amidst their huge fan base. Their voices are used in such a magnificent soulful and meaningful way and the words ring so true. I encourage you to look up the lyrics and really meditate on those words that are being sung. Thank the Lord that the King came so humbly down to earth to save us all.

7. Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (one more of my favourites)

A marvellously arranged piece of acapella beauty this piece is, remaking Tchaikovsky's wonderful piece they incorporated beat boxing into classical music and used their incredible range to portray each musical instrument used in an orchestra. When the beat drops you'll have your mouth left open thinking how the heck do you even acheive this using no electronic beats?

8. It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Avi takes this song on the Christmas album and does an incredible job, I still can't get over how deep his voice can go, it's a voice well worth listening too. 

9. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (my final favourite)

This is another favourite song of mine on the album, they used Kevin's awesome beat boxing skills as what I believe to be the focal point of the song. As always their harmonies are en pointe but Kevin and Avi are the stars here using their thick and deep tone and range as the main building block on which this song is built on.

10. Silent Night 

This song is strong and reliant mostly on the harmonies of each voice, it is a slow and true representation of the Christmas carol in terms of pace where their strong use of vibrato creates that of a professionally trained choir. Every part is thought of carefully and you can tell because every harmony is different and successfully weaves in and around each other and their connection to eachother I feel, is heard  in this piece.

11. Let It Go

Although I am one of Frozen's biggest fans, this is actually the least song I have listened to on this album, it may just be the fact that my ears are tired of hearing this song but other than that from the very few times I've listened to it I can safely confirm that Pentatonix are genuine musical geniuses.

I hope you enjoyed this post guy, stay up to date with each Blogmas post if you want more, comment down below if you enjoyed this post or if you have any suggestions of other albums I should comment on!

God bless,

All my love,

DAILY LIFE: A Trip to a Vintage Fair!

Hey guys,

Here's a quick post to feast your eyes on and it's all about a Vintage Fair that I recently went to in the centre of the city I'm currently studying in. Apparently it has been voted the best Vintage Fair in the UK and the entry was only £2.00 which was incredible for the beauty that you were allowed to gaze upon. 

These photos are 1/4 and maybe not even that of the Vintage jewellery that was there, there were countless other beautiful stalls that were filled with embroidered clothing, sequin dresses, beaded garments and classic designer handbags. It held all the clothes that were worn by those gone before us yet it still had that wonderful feeling of unity between generations of fashion held together and in tact by these wonderful people with a passion for the old. 

This Vintage fair had absolutely everything going on in it, I honestly felt like I had stepped back in time for a while. There were singers with beautiful voices that played classics that some of you may have had a chance to listen to in your childhood and there were beautifully dressed sellers with their jewellery stacked high and eyeliner flicked out. 

For those that are considering visiting a Vintage Fair I would strongly suggest trying it out, no longer will you have to be afraid that someone will have either the same outfit as you or the same outfit in a different colour than you each piece is unique and that is the beauty of Vintage.

Hope you enjoyed this quick post guys, 

God bless,

All my love,