Happy New Year: A Reflection.

Wow, another year has flown by! Happy New Year to all of my beautiful readers reading this! 2014 was such a whirlwind for me, I went through happiness to heartbreak, from heartbreak to healing, through seasons of loneliness, fear and issues about my self-worth to a realisation of who the Lord is, how He knows every thought, action and feeling that I have had and still loves me and was with me all along. I find it so easy to become suffocated under all that life and the world is, I have been swept under it for so long and it has caused me to chase things, distractions and vain attractions that are not good for my soul. There have been times in 2014 that I do not want to relive, there have been times in 2014 that I would gladly relive. I have learnt a lot from 2014. So much of it has been lessons of discipline, running back to Him and believing that I could do life on my own terms. 2014 has been a year of selfishness, of letting go and of new starts to relationships and new found friendships. It has been a combination of emotions that have led me to despair to complete freedom but despite all of this, I wouldn't want to change 2014 for anything. It has taught me to love my family, my friends and appreciate my loved ones. It has challenged my faith and stretched my faith and equipped me to live a life with Jesus whom I will continue to journey with for the rest of my life. 

Every time I go through troublesome times when it is absolutely impossible to see even a glimspe of the light at the end of the tunnel, when I feel like my dreams are further away than I can ever imagine He brings me back to the reality of Him and causes me to lean on Him and His understanding that is far above anyone else's on this earth.

I have met people and heard speakers that have inspired me to search the very depths of who the Lord is and I have met people that I have wanted to encourage to come to a revelation of who He is and the freedom He brings. I have seen people go through sorrow, grief and despair in my own family and my friends. I had become angry at the people that have hurt and spoken harshly about my loved ones and I had become frustrated with myself and who I, at times, became in 2014. I became helpless and questionable about my worth, place and purpose in this world in 2014 and I have learnt to encourage people on their journey and learnt to love with everything I have and more.

2014, like every year prior will always have a special place in my heart and it will be a reminder of His grace and how far He’s brought me in this world that I will not be flattened by any longer. I will always be on a journey that involves some aspect of what I have already experienced and learnt from. I believe that the Lord will always be showing me and teaching me His ways in a constant continuation of learning for all of the years to come.

In 2015 I hope that whatever the Lord has in store, whatever rollercoaster of emotions or events that await me this year I pray that for you, myself and others that our focus will be on Jesus even when seasons of loneliness and desolation hit us I pray that we let Him have the highest throne in our lives.

“Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God”. – Philippians 4:6 [AMP]

“And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7 [AMP]

"And this I pray, that your love may abound.."

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Hey loves, 

A few hours ago I got in from meeting with my Church's small group, our homework for this evening was to read Philippians and after going through just the first chapter I felt so encouraged and inspired and I really wanted to share a bit of why I felt this way.

Read: Philippians 1

Paul's intense encouragement resonates throughout the whole of this chapter, his selflessness and relentless love for his situation, his location, his church, those around him and most importantly for Jesus encourages and motivates the people around him and those that knew him all from prison. From his chains he was able to defend and proclaim the gospel. This selflessness reveals a strong sense of humility within Paul and reveals a strength that could only come from Jesus Christ. At no point in this chapter does he search for sympathy or attention, instead he praises the fact that his time in prison is turning out "for the furtherance of the gospel" so much so that he even impacted the "palace guard". How wonderful a thought to think that we could make the exact same impact and imprint of Jesus in the lives of every single person around us. This selfless life that he is living is always, constantly thanking God and referring back to God, even his "chains are in Christ".

 I really admire his selflessness and humility as it causes me to think of my own life and convicts me into having the same attitude that he did towards life. For me, I haven't ever been in a position like Pauls, I've never been in prison and you can imagine back in Pauls day that the prison conditions probably were as far from prisons that we see nowadays so you can imagine rough living where your faith would be challenged the most. I admire that despite everything that he is going through he chooses Jesus everytime and I love how at peace he appears to be with it all, he has no fear of his outcome, he says that he would like to go and be with Jesus but he feels as if his encouragement would benefit others. Others. We are called to love God and to love one another. We are also called to serve and to help encourage, motivate and pray for one another so that in the trials and tribulations we can get through it by God's strength and God's strength in our friends. 

Paul gives us practical tips to live out our lives as Christians. We are meeting with people everyday, souls, lost souls are in desperate need for something to fill that void in their hearts and all they need is Jesus. Fear holds us back from a lot of things, one in particular is something that I struggle with and that is sharing the Gospel, physically speaking to people about Jesus and starting off a deep, theological debate and turning them off God completely has to be one of my worst nightmares. In all honesty, what have we got to lose? Christians are being martyred for their faith everyday, I don't live in nearly as much conflict as they are, if anything my life is comfort in comparisin and yet I can't even share the gospel without thinking "oh, they won't like me anymore" or "oh, they'll make fun of me" the fear of man has stopped me dead in my tracks one too many times. I believe that as Christians with an Eternal God, an Uncreated Creator, ruler of the heavens and all of the galaxies on our side, we can never truly lose. 

"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain". - Philippians 1:21

Here are a couple of verses that I highlighted in my Bible maybe you coud meditate on them and pray to the Lord to open up your Spiritual eyes and ask Him for wisdom, knowledge and understanding of His word:

"And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." - Philippians 1:9-11

"the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident...my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear". - Philippians 1:12-14

"that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death". - Philippians 1:20

"Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, and not in any way terrified by your adversaries, which is to them a proof of perdition, but to you of salvation and that from God. For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear is in me". Philippians - 1:27-30

AUTUMN and Expectations

Autumn is my favourite time of the year and also my favourite season of the year. I don't know whether it's the change in the colour of the leaves from green to a fiery colour palette of orange and red or the crisp, sharp bite of the morning air. 

It's a season of cosiness where summer wardrobes change from tank tops to comfy knit sweaters and bare legs search for 200 denier tights to stick to. It's the time of year where you have to brush the dust off of your favourite winter coat and pull your combat boots out from the inner depths of your closet. It's a season where make-up changes as well, replace your light pink lipstick with a dark, red or raspberry coloured lipstick. It's the time of year where you're allowed to use up all of your dark brown eyeshadow for a smokey effect and it's okay to go big and bold on your eyebrows. Comfiness is key, leggings and snoods are a must have and most importantly smile and be thankful in your comfiness!

EXPECTATION

An ideal day in Autumn would be for me to wake up engulfed in my bed covers, the condensation remains are left on the windows creating an imprint of tear drops, the air is warm and little movement is made. I wake up and eat breakfast, do reading for my lectures and seminars, complete tasks for seminars and get started on my essays in time for the deadlines. I may even go out for a walk with my friends and kick the autumn leaves away from my path. When the evening arrives I go through my door, kick off my boots and I make myself a smores hot chocolate, open Netlflix and watch Hart of Dixie until I fall asleep to sweet, sweet dreams of Bluebell and thoughts of Autumn.

REALITY

I literally woke up at 10, got out of bed at 11, did an essay plan for a class, read a few books for my seminars and lectures, didn't finish either of them. Went on Ebay and Amazon looking for phone cases, went on Facebook to arrange meeting times with my friends, ate leftover pizza from last night's movie night with the girls for lunch, sorted out my folders for each module, took down dates of Essay deadlines and in-class tests. All between checking my phone constantly on Instagram, Pinterest and Tumblr in my bid to escape from life for a minute or two. The photos above are the photos I came across on Tumblr and Pinterest, I would very much like to be in each of the photos you see before your eyes. Now I sit on my computer chair that spins around but has no wheels, cross-legged covered in a warm blanket, face bare and bun unashamedly hanging off of my head in a very messy manner while my head dreams of a simpler autumn time when I was younger and wishing I was holding 5 toffee apples in each hand.

Like it is with a lot of things, expectations, when they're not met take the fun out of everything and can leave you disappointed and with the feeling of "well, that wasn't supposed to happen" or "well, that wasn't fun at all". For me, Autumn was this cosy, lay in bed reading a book or watching Netflix all day while drinking a hot chocolate in the evening expectation but in reality I'm just doing work and eating leftover pizza.  I wait, every year with the expectation that Autumn is going to live up to all that Tumblr and Pinterest make it to be and it never always works out the way I planned in my head. 

It is important not to dwell on it, but instead love the season you're in with all of your heart and ask the Lord to give you more love in His creation. I encourage you to take note of every blessing you have in your life up until this moment, everything God has blessed you with. Reflect on where your life has taken you so far and rejoice in the path that God has put you on now. Commit all of your plans to the Lord and He will guide and lead you. Don't let expectations disappoint you but be expectant, waiting patiently for God to move.

BIBLE STUDY: Read Philippians 1.

MEMORY VERSE: " And this I pray: that your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in knowledge and all keen insight [that your love may display itself in greater depth of acquaintance and more comprehensive discernment]. "

Philippians 1:9 AMP

P.S - Don't get me wrong Autumn still will always be my favourite season, I am just on that journey of learning to love everything God has enabled me to experience and have in my life. 

My life in this moment.

Hey loves,

I want us to have a real 10 minutes right now, I might start a series of posts on this where I lay 10 minutes of what I'm feeling like in this stage of my life and it's going to be truthful and not only an inspiration for myself but hopefully for that someone who is feeling the same as I. So here we go, as a Christian I've learnt to put everything in God's hands but it's not easy. Recently I have been struggling so much, I can go days without acknowledging God and disobeying His word and it leaves me feeling empty, lonely and hopeless. I felt like there was something wrong with me, seeds of doubt sprouted up from roots I didn't even realise were in me. In all honesty He has still kept me on a piece of string attached to him, I'm still hanging on and I don't even know how but it always brings me to the realisation that He will never give up on me. I find it so very hard to get my head around that and at times it doesn't always make sense and I fall more than a baby learning to walk for the first time and I feel disgusted with myself and it feels like, at times I've reached the end of myself. But despite it all, God has imprinted His love into my heart so much so that at the end of crying rivers and lakes of sadness and frustration and anger towards Him, I still find myself giving it all to Him and trusting in Him. Saying that despite my trials Lord, I will worship You and I will love You. 

For me, I'm such an overanalyst, literally I overthink way too much that it kind of gets dangerous and before I know it my mind is in a whirlwind of everything I think has happened and on the other side is the truth but I'm so caught up, that I can't even see it and I'm so adamant to ignore it. 

Being a Christian is such a narrow path, for me especially this past year I've had to learn and comprehend a lot more knowledge and understanding of the world and God than I ever have before, I know more this year than I ever have in past years and it all became a real bit of a build up. But God has dealt so much in my heart this past year from; deliverance to just plain old lessons. He's convicted me, wrapped me in His love and taught me to discern. I'm still on this incredible journey with Him and I know that it won't all be daisies and tulips, which, in our fleshly way of thinking you'd think, 'if you know it's not going to be a nice ride why go on with it?' Because Jesus thought I was worth it when He died on the cross to redeem me from my fallen self. That is the motivation that I have on this journey with Jesus. He has impacted me so much so that I cannot forget Him, I cannot shake Him from my frame of thinking, I cannot survive a day without Him, I cannot survive being away from Him and I especially cannot imagine being separated from Him for Eternity. 

And to finish I found this on Tumblr, it broke me down and brought me to the reality that as Christians we are all on this journey of being on a process towards perfection until the day our Saviour returns until now we must continue to encourage eachother and help eachother and most of all be there and pray for eachother.

God bless,

All my love!

“

There are days or weeks or even months when I read the Bible and there are no grand epiphanies.

There are whole seasons of Sundays when I sing praise and feel nothing.

There are times of prayer where the silence kills me.

There are great Christian books and podcasts that I eat up which don’t budge my spiritual life.

There are too many times when I doubt the very existence of God and the sending of His Son. It can all feel like a crazy lie.

I’m probably being too honest — but I’ve found that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

It’s in those times that I ask myself, “Am I out of love with God somehow? Am I losing my faith here? How do I get back to where I used to be?”

But I keep reading my Bible. I keep singing on Sundays. I keep praying. I soak in books and sermons. I serve. I enjoy the company of mature Christians. I enjoy the fellowship of the broken.

And you know what? Sometimes the clouds part and God comes through and His love squeezes my heart and I fall to my knees remembering how good He is. Then I read Scripture and can’t stop weeping and I turn on Christian songs in my car full blast and sing loud enough to scare the traffic. I serve with shaking hands and get convicted by those sermons and soak in God’s goodness all over again.

So I've learned over time: I wasn't really out of love with God. I’m just a fragile human being who changes as much as the weather. I was setting a ridiculous standard for myself that can’t be defined by self-pressuring parameters. I was tricked by the enemy into judging my flesh. My faith is based on His grace and not my feelings. And I think I need to relax.

”

— J.S. from this post (via jspark3000)

Verse of the Day #1

Hello loves,

Recently in my personal Bible Study sessions the Lord has been teaching me about the righteousness of faith and the dangers of falling into the law. In Romans 4:15 the bible says "the law brings about wrath, for where there is no law there is no transgression". The Lord has reminded me of faith and its importance. Faith is what we need to be able to inherit His promises and there is no other way. Through faith Abraham was able to be strong in it, strong in the faith that God would provide a son for him even in his physical weakness. Abraham did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief but instead was "strengthened in faith...giving glory to God...being fully convinced that what He had promised he was able to perform...therefore it was accounted to him for righteousness". Abraham's journey started with faith. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. If anyone reading this today has a mountain of problems, family problems, job problems, relationship problems - have faith in God and all that He has promised for you, which are all for your good and all according to His will. We, as Abrahams descendants can also experience breakthrough just like he and many others did. Breakthrough is always around the corner .

So guys, those who are running a little low on faith and trust in God, talk to Him about it, He's always waiting for you to sit down with Him and talk about every single problem you have "he is a rewarders of them that diligently seek Him" - there fore there is nothing he hasn't heard of so there is no reason to be ashamed because in His eyes He loves you just the same as He did yesterday, today and forever. Which is.. a LOT of lovin'!

If you guys have any questions for me leave a comment below, I'd love to have a chat with you and any of ma Sisters in Christs out there would love talk with you also!

God bless 

xoxo